[Chuck hates the nightmares. Hates that it makes him feel weak, hates that he can't control it, hates that Raleigh sees him like that, like the scars aren't enough, but at the same time, he's so. Thankful that Raleigh's there, that he's not alone.
It's a mess, it's a right mess, he's a mess and it's been two years since Pitfall but Chuck hasn't gone anywhere. Not really, he's drifting without the Drift, making do but he hasn't... got a purpose anymore. He's not-- a pilot, there's nothing to fight and Chuck was never that good at building things, just breaking shit and.
The drivesuits weren't built to withstand nuclear bombs and the mind was not made to deal with the trauma of it well and most of the time, it's fine, he's fine, he can spend an evening with Raleigh, talking about absolutely nothing and then it's not. Suddenly it's not fine.
Years of living with kaiju alarms and on military bases means that he's the lightest sleeper, that when Raleigh shoves his shoulder, he wakes up, breathing hard and fast and if he pushes down hard on Raleigh's shoulder, like he's still caught in the dream and he can stop fire with his hand, yeah that makes a lot of fucking sense. Chuck's not mad at Raleigh, not at all but he's mad at himself enough that he's going to take it out on him anyway.]
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It's a mess, it's a right mess, he's a mess and it's been two years since Pitfall but Chuck hasn't gone anywhere. Not really, he's drifting without the Drift, making do but he hasn't... got a purpose anymore. He's not-- a pilot, there's nothing to fight and Chuck was never that good at building things, just breaking shit and.
The drivesuits weren't built to withstand nuclear bombs and the mind was not made to deal with the trauma of it well and most of the time, it's fine, he's fine, he can spend an evening with Raleigh, talking about absolutely nothing and then it's not. Suddenly it's not fine.
Years of living with kaiju alarms and on military bases means that he's the lightest sleeper, that when Raleigh shoves his shoulder, he wakes up, breathing hard and fast and if he pushes down hard on Raleigh's shoulder, like he's still caught in the dream and he can stop fire with his hand, yeah that makes a lot of fucking sense. Chuck's not mad at Raleigh, not at all but he's mad at himself enough that he's going to take it out on him anyway.]
What?