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[Raleigh won't shut the fuck up about camping but Chuck absolutely refuses to go until there's a decent weather forecast and that means, no snow or temperatures that drop below freezing overnight because fuck you, Becket, normal people don't go out in weather like that voluntarily.
Chuck also struggles to figure out how people actually live in Alaska for years and years because who voluntarily chooses to live in cold places.
But finally, finally the weather cooperates and they pack up one of the PPDC's Jeeps and Raleigh knows a place, so Chuck actually hasn't the faintest idea of where they are, but there's trees and probably a deer somewhere but he hasn't seen one. What he has seen is Raleigh burn his fingers cooking dinner over a fire and stars and Max is having a good time out in the wild (like fuck he was going to leave for five days without the dog).
They sleep in two sleeping bags zipped together and for fuck's sake, Raleigh, you really never do sleep with a shirt on, do you. Chuck laughs as he helps peel the shirt off of him because Raleigh won't stop wriggling.]
You're ridiculous.
Chuck also struggles to figure out how people actually live in Alaska for years and years because who voluntarily chooses to live in cold places.
But finally, finally the weather cooperates and they pack up one of the PPDC's Jeeps and Raleigh knows a place, so Chuck actually hasn't the faintest idea of where they are, but there's trees and probably a deer somewhere but he hasn't seen one. What he has seen is Raleigh burn his fingers cooking dinner over a fire and stars and Max is having a good time out in the wild (like fuck he was going to leave for five days without the dog).
They sleep in two sleeping bags zipped together and for fuck's sake, Raleigh, you really never do sleep with a shirt on, do you. Chuck laughs as he helps peel the shirt off of him because Raleigh won't stop wriggling.]
You're ridiculous.
[Chuck fucking hates Raleigh Becket. Hates her because she walked from the Jaeger program, hates her because she was one of his idles and then she wasn't, hates her because she Drifts so easily with Mako, hates her purely because he can.
But there's a fine line between love and hate and Chuck doesn't remember what love feels like but he knows that hate feels like wanting to be right, wanting to shove her into a wall and shove his tongue into her mouth because it's a damn good way to make her stop talking, wanting to know what the fuck makes her tick but refusing to ask.
Chuck doesn't want to talk. Doesn't want to discuss how he survived Pitfall, doesn't want to talk about what the hell he's doing to do with his life now, doesn't want to do anything but crawl on top of her, kissing her hard and fast. This is good, this is Raleigh not talking and he's not thinking too hard on how she makes him feel confusing things.]
But there's a fine line between love and hate and Chuck doesn't remember what love feels like but he knows that hate feels like wanting to be right, wanting to shove her into a wall and shove his tongue into her mouth because it's a damn good way to make her stop talking, wanting to know what the fuck makes her tick but refusing to ask.
Chuck doesn't want to talk. Doesn't want to discuss how he survived Pitfall, doesn't want to talk about what the hell he's doing to do with his life now, doesn't want to do anything but crawl on top of her, kissing her hard and fast. This is good, this is Raleigh not talking and he's not thinking too hard on how she makes him feel confusing things.]
[ There’s actually a lake around, too, but when Raleigh suggested they go for a swim sometime, Chuck had leveled the flattest look Raleigh’d ever seen on a human being before and like, unleashed a slew of profanity into Raleigh’s face, so swimming is definitely off the table.
That's okay, because there’s plenty to do around that doesn’t have to involve swimming -- like taking walks around the lake, tossing balls around for Max, and kissing with no real endgame for about a million hours in the blankets they’ve stuffed in the back of the truck, which is, personally, Raleigh’s favorite. He’s looking forward to doing that, right now, but his shirt’s kind of getting in the way.
Raleigh grunts as the neck of his t-shirt catches around his chin, and says, breathlessly– ] You’re more – ridiculous – [ –before the t-shirt comes off as Chuck tugs it the rest of the way over his head. Raleigh blinks with his sudden vision, registers Chuck laughing in front of him, and grins, wide and happy. ]
Hi. [ His shirt’s still caught above his head, around his arms, but Raleigh leans in to kiss Chuck anyway, brief and sweet. ]
That's okay, because there’s plenty to do around that doesn’t have to involve swimming -- like taking walks around the lake, tossing balls around for Max, and kissing with no real endgame for about a million hours in the blankets they’ve stuffed in the back of the truck, which is, personally, Raleigh’s favorite. He’s looking forward to doing that, right now, but his shirt’s kind of getting in the way.
Raleigh grunts as the neck of his t-shirt catches around his chin, and says, breathlessly– ] You’re more – ridiculous – [ –before the t-shirt comes off as Chuck tugs it the rest of the way over his head. Raleigh blinks with his sudden vision, registers Chuck laughing in front of him, and grins, wide and happy. ]
Hi. [ His shirt’s still caught above his head, around his arms, but Raleigh leans in to kiss Chuck anyway, brief and sweet. ]
[You can go swim in the lake, Raleigh, just don't come crying to him when your junk freezes off. And don't think Chuck wouldn't leave you in a heartbeat if you lost your dick.
Chuck makes a frustrated noise, and just kisses the idiot instead of trying to help him worm his way out of his shirt entirely because if he can't figure it out on his own, then he deserves to be trapped and maybe Chuck likes having his arms tied up because then-- you know.]
You seem like you've got a real problem there, Ray.
Chuck makes a frustrated noise, and just kisses the idiot instead of trying to help him worm his way out of his shirt entirely because if he can't figure it out on his own, then he deserves to be trapped and maybe Chuck likes having his arms tied up because then-- you know.]
You seem like you've got a real problem there, Ray.
[ She hates him right back, too, this arrogant asshole who reminds her too much of herself before Yancy died, cocky as hell and in need of being taken down a peg or two: pre-Knifehead, she would've only been too glad to do the honours of kicking his ass, but post-Knifehead, well.
Post-Knifehead is a different deal entirely. But they're not here to talk about ass-kicking; they're not here to talk about anything at all, save to get the lust out of their system, this thing like a punch to the gut, of desire and violence and want and need and it's awful to say that he, too, makes her feel alive. His tongue's in her mouth and she's shoving him right back, her hands tugging his shirt up because like hell he's going to take the lead when she's got seven years on him.
He survived and that's what matters, and it doesn't take a genius to see the wounds and the trauma he carries with him, the violence and the anger and the hate and a part of her wants to tame that, make it hers because she understands. Her kisses are just as fierce, and her hands roam over his back, tugging up his shirt. Her hips buck, pushing up against him in something entirely reactionary, wanting. ]
Take it off. [ She growls between kisses, greedy and hungry for more of him, for more of this. Why the fuck are you still wearing clothes, Hansen? ]
Post-Knifehead is a different deal entirely. But they're not here to talk about ass-kicking; they're not here to talk about anything at all, save to get the lust out of their system, this thing like a punch to the gut, of desire and violence and want and need and it's awful to say that he, too, makes her feel alive. His tongue's in her mouth and she's shoving him right back, her hands tugging his shirt up because like hell he's going to take the lead when she's got seven years on him.
He survived and that's what matters, and it doesn't take a genius to see the wounds and the trauma he carries with him, the violence and the anger and the hate and a part of her wants to tame that, make it hers because she understands. Her kisses are just as fierce, and her hands roam over his back, tugging up his shirt. Her hips buck, pushing up against him in something entirely reactionary, wanting. ]
Take it off. [ She growls between kisses, greedy and hungry for more of him, for more of this. Why the fuck are you still wearing clothes, Hansen? ]
[ Don’t tell Raleigh that. He still thinks Chuck likes him for his sparkling personality.
Because Raleigh is Raleigh, it takes about 0.00003 seconds for the t-shirt to get out of hand -- tangled around his wrists instead of his elbows like before -- and for Raleigh to use that to his advantage to hook Chuck in by the neck with his shirt, dragging him in for another kiss. ] Nope.
[ Much as he does like having his arms tied up, Raleigh pushes the shirt off the rest of the way in the end. This way, at least, he can properly have his arms around Chuck’s neck. ] Looks good from here.
Because Raleigh is Raleigh, it takes about 0.00003 seconds for the t-shirt to get out of hand -- tangled around his wrists instead of his elbows like before -- and for Raleigh to use that to his advantage to hook Chuck in by the neck with his shirt, dragging him in for another kiss. ] Nope.
[ Much as he does like having his arms tied up, Raleigh pushes the shirt off the rest of the way in the end. This way, at least, he can properly have his arms around Chuck’s neck. ] Looks good from here.
[ Not all the memories they share are happy ones. Pitfall was two years ago, and they’ve made so much progress since then, setting their foundations on something more solid than the rubble of their lives before the closing of the Breach, but it’s been a slow road to recovery for them both. Together, they’ve managed to successfully outrun some of their personal demons, but they can’t rid themselves of the nightmares that haunt them still; Raleigh’s old anger at the long-dead kaiju rekindles whenever Chuck gasps his way awake in their nights together in bed, burning up from both the heat under the blankets and the memory of blistering in the kiln of his own drivesuit.
It’s moments like these when the anger is particularly strong, because these moments are theirs, with no place for old ghosts to share.
They’re lying on the couch together after a night of drowsy conversation by the fireplace; Chuck’s drifting asleep on top of him, head laid against his shoulder, his dog tags digging into Raleigh’s chest. The hard line of the tags isn’t noticeable enough to trouble Raleigh to move, and he likes the way Chuck’s heavy, sleeping weight feels on top of him.
The peace doesn’t last long. Two years had been enough for Raleigh to catalogue Chuck’s body language, so Raleigh can pinpoint when Chuck’s soft, muffled sleep noises take a turn for something darker, sharper, hurt-sounding. Raleigh's stomach drops, and he sits up a little against the arm of the couch, careful not to let Chuck’s weight slide off him.
He shakes Chuck’s shoulder. ] Chuck? Hey, Chuck, wake up.
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[ It’s almost 1AM, silver light slanting across the floor, and Raleigh's picking his way carefully across the creaking floorboards of his and Yancy’s shared bedroom. He doesn’t want to wake Yancy up – Yancy needs the sleep for the early shift in the diner tomorrow morning, and when Raleigh gets close enough to look, Raleigh sees the dark bruises under his eyes, the unhappy slant of his mouth.
Yancy’s taken to fighting with Jazmine a lot lately, and it seems to suck all energy out of him every time. Takes the energy out of Raleigh, too. Tonight had been witness to a particularly bad one – mostly furious whisper-shouts in the kitchen, quiet so as to not disturb Mom in her bedroom – and Raleigh is exhausted, but all his attempts at sleep have been thus far unsuccessful.
Raleigh goes downstairs, as silent as he can manage, and leaves through the front door. Chuck’s house is just across the street, so it makes sense, in that moment, to go there next.
He hasn’t climbed trees since he was twelve, so it takes him a while to scale the thing up to Chuck’s second-story window. A light inside is on, thank fuck, so Raleigh balances himself better on the branch, rapping on the window pane until he’s sure he has Chuck’s attention. When Chuck’s looking, Raleigh mouths, hey, dicksmack, open up. ]
Edited (agh html :'|) 2013-11-18 01:36 (UTC)
[Chuck likes his personality okay, he's just never going to say it because then Raleigh will never shut the fuck up about it and he already talks all the fucking time.
He's also a crafty little shit, hooking Chuck in with his shirt like that, and Chuck isn't sure if he should be impressed or roll his eyes and he settles on biting Raleigh's lip instead after kissing him.]
What kind of idiot gets stuck in their own shirt?
He's also a crafty little shit, hooking Chuck in with his shirt like that, and Chuck isn't sure if he should be impressed or roll his eyes and he settles on biting Raleigh's lip instead after kissing him.]
What kind of idiot gets stuck in their own shirt?
[Chuck has this moment where he's actually torn about what to do, because he wants to take his shirt off, wants to feel her fingers digging into his shoulders, wants to rip her clothes off too but he doesn't want her telling him what to do, ordering him around like she can just do that. He wants to deny her what she wants just to say that he did and he has that power over her.
He moves his mouth to her neck to cover up his dilemma, marking her skin and fuck, fine, you pushy harpy. He'll take it off. Only because she keeps pulling at it and nearly choking him and getting in his way of doing what he wants and Chuck bites her skin hard before he rears back to strip the shirt off in one movement.]
You're next.
He moves his mouth to her neck to cover up his dilemma, marking her skin and fuck, fine, you pushy harpy. He'll take it off. Only because she keeps pulling at it and nearly choking him and getting in his way of doing what he wants and Chuck bites her skin hard before he rears back to strip the shirt off in one movement.]
You're next.
[ That should be all background noise to you, Chuck. It's not Raleigh's fault you haven't learned how to tune him out yet. ]
Hey - [ Raleigh kisses him back, and pretends affront at Chuck's biting by mocking a frown. ] - if I'm an idiot, you're an idiot. You couldn't even pull it off yourself.
[ In a pretty amateur move, Raleigh ruins his own bitchface by ducking his head to kiss Chuck's cheek, tugging him down by the hold Raleigh's got around his neck into the blankets with him. Raleigh hooks his calf over Chuck's thigh, dragging him bodily closer into a clingy octopus-hug.
After Raleigh's forced them both to settle, he relaxes, looking pretty pleased with how things all turned out. ]
Hey - [ Raleigh kisses him back, and pretends affront at Chuck's biting by mocking a frown. ] - if I'm an idiot, you're an idiot. You couldn't even pull it off yourself.
[ In a pretty amateur move, Raleigh ruins his own bitchface by ducking his head to kiss Chuck's cheek, tugging him down by the hold Raleigh's got around his neck into the blankets with him. Raleigh hooks his calf over Chuck's thigh, dragging him bodily closer into a clingy octopus-hug.
After Raleigh's forced them both to settle, he relaxes, looking pretty pleased with how things all turned out. ]
Edited 2013-11-18 03:06 (UTC)
[Chuck hates the nightmares. Hates that it makes him feel weak, hates that he can't control it, hates that Raleigh sees him like that, like the scars aren't enough, but at the same time, he's so. Thankful that Raleigh's there, that he's not alone.
It's a mess, it's a right mess, he's a mess and it's been two years since Pitfall but Chuck hasn't gone anywhere. Not really, he's drifting without the Drift, making do but he hasn't... got a purpose anymore. He's not-- a pilot, there's nothing to fight and Chuck was never that good at building things, just breaking shit and.
The drivesuits weren't built to withstand nuclear bombs and the mind was not made to deal with the trauma of it well and most of the time, it's fine, he's fine, he can spend an evening with Raleigh, talking about absolutely nothing and then it's not. Suddenly it's not fine.
Years of living with kaiju alarms and on military bases means that he's the lightest sleeper, that when Raleigh shoves his shoulder, he wakes up, breathing hard and fast and if he pushes down hard on Raleigh's shoulder, like he's still caught in the dream and he can stop fire with his hand, yeah that makes a lot of fucking sense. Chuck's not mad at Raleigh, not at all but he's mad at himself enough that he's going to take it out on him anyway.]
What?
It's a mess, it's a right mess, he's a mess and it's been two years since Pitfall but Chuck hasn't gone anywhere. Not really, he's drifting without the Drift, making do but he hasn't... got a purpose anymore. He's not-- a pilot, there's nothing to fight and Chuck was never that good at building things, just breaking shit and.
The drivesuits weren't built to withstand nuclear bombs and the mind was not made to deal with the trauma of it well and most of the time, it's fine, he's fine, he can spend an evening with Raleigh, talking about absolutely nothing and then it's not. Suddenly it's not fine.
Years of living with kaiju alarms and on military bases means that he's the lightest sleeper, that when Raleigh shoves his shoulder, he wakes up, breathing hard and fast and if he pushes down hard on Raleigh's shoulder, like he's still caught in the dream and he can stop fire with his hand, yeah that makes a lot of fucking sense. Chuck's not mad at Raleigh, not at all but he's mad at himself enough that he's going to take it out on him anyway.]
What?
[ The two of them have woken up like this too many times for Raleigh to count now, bodies seized with drift flashes, synapses firing memories of either snow or flame. It’s standard procedure for Raleigh to wait it out with Chuck until Chuck’s brain stop burning, until Chuck stops shoving down on Raleigh like it’ll help him forget, wincing and curling in a little with the pain of the panicked, insistent weight of Chuck’s hand on his bad shoulder.
Raleigh used to be ashamed about this, too. He used to avoid Chuck when it would happen, waiting it out on his own until his body could stop recollecting the combined terror of his brother’s death and flying through a burning alien sky, but he’s had five years of experience longer than Chuck to adjust to his traumas. Chuck’s are mostly new, still fresh.
So Raleigh doesn’t rise to the bait, but only allows Chuck take it out on him, relaxing as best as he can under Chuck's weight. Raleigh reaches above him with a tentative hand, rubbing his thumb fleetingly into the little hollow behind Chuck’s ear, cupping his cheek, brief. ]
Hey, breathe. You looked like you weren't doin' so good, so I woke you, okay?
Raleigh used to be ashamed about this, too. He used to avoid Chuck when it would happen, waiting it out on his own until his body could stop recollecting the combined terror of his brother’s death and flying through a burning alien sky, but he’s had five years of experience longer than Chuck to adjust to his traumas. Chuck’s are mostly new, still fresh.
So Raleigh doesn’t rise to the bait, but only allows Chuck take it out on him, relaxing as best as he can under Chuck's weight. Raleigh reaches above him with a tentative hand, rubbing his thumb fleetingly into the little hollow behind Chuck’s ear, cupping his cheek, brief. ]
Hey, breathe. You looked like you weren't doin' so good, so I woke you, okay?
Edited 2013-11-18 04:10 (UTC)
I didn't say we'd take that in turns.
[ Raleigh says that just to be a shit, really, because she's grinning and this is better, isn't it? A distraction from the traumatic post-event horrors, where they pretend everything else is all right and the focus is right on them.
He bites her and she hisses, but at least she's treated to the pretty delightful sight that is Shirtless Chuck. Quite a perfect specimen of a man, she notes, scars and all; reminds her of the burns she'd received during Anchorage, the burns that still mark her so clearly now. Her smile flickers, just a little, before she's moving to pull him down for another kiss, hands coming up to splay over his chest, to study his scars and map them out in her memory. Funny, she's never been this self-conscious before.
Then again, she's never been naked with anyone before -- well, after Anchorage. ] ...Later.
[ Raleigh says that just to be a shit, really, because she's grinning and this is better, isn't it? A distraction from the traumatic post-event horrors, where they pretend everything else is all right and the focus is right on them.
He bites her and she hisses, but at least she's treated to the pretty delightful sight that is Shirtless Chuck. Quite a perfect specimen of a man, she notes, scars and all; reminds her of the burns she'd received during Anchorage, the burns that still mark her so clearly now. Her smile flickers, just a little, before she's moving to pull him down for another kiss, hands coming up to splay over his chest, to study his scars and map them out in her memory. Funny, she's never been this self-conscious before.
Then again, she's never been naked with anyone before -- well, after Anchorage. ] ...Later.
[Chuck thought, once, that he and Mako would end up in the same Jaeger. Because they were pretty much the same age, and both perfectionists and both of their fathers were Mark I pilots and it just-- made sense. It should have been exactly like that except that it wasn't and Chuck's never asked for the full story. Only knows that it didn't work out according to plan and whatever. He doesn't need her when his dad's just as good of a replacement and his uncle's out of the piloting picture now and so the Hansens went into Striker and Mako went into... retrofitting old Jaegers.
A bloody waste of time if you ask him but he really doesn't spend that much time thinking about it because what Mako does with an old wrecked Jaeger is completely not relevant to what him being a pilot.
Until it is. The Marshal heads to Alaska to try and hunt down Raleigh Becket, the washed up has been who's only legacy is to have survived crashing a Jaeger when his brother didn't and that's just wrong on so many levels. Mako stays behind in Hong Kong and Chuck arrives with his dad and Striker right after Pentecost leaves. Bringing Gipsy Danger back to the scene is still a waste of time, if you ask him, but so long as Becket stays out of his way, he thinks he doesn't care.
(He does but no one has to know that)
Chuck ends up in the dinner line next to Mako, honestly he didn't plan it but since he's here, he does have a question for her.]
So how's it feel to know all your hard work might be for nothing?
A bloody waste of time if you ask him but he really doesn't spend that much time thinking about it because what Mako does with an old wrecked Jaeger is completely not relevant to what him being a pilot.
Until it is. The Marshal heads to Alaska to try and hunt down Raleigh Becket, the washed up has been who's only legacy is to have survived crashing a Jaeger when his brother didn't and that's just wrong on so many levels. Mako stays behind in Hong Kong and Chuck arrives with his dad and Striker right after Pentecost leaves. Bringing Gipsy Danger back to the scene is still a waste of time, if you ask him, but so long as Becket stays out of his way, he thinks he doesn't care.
(He does but no one has to know that)
Chuck ends up in the dinner line next to Mako, honestly he didn't plan it but since he's here, he does have a question for her.]
So how's it feel to know all your hard work might be for nothing?
[Why isn't she taking her shirt off? And don't think he missed the moment when her smile died, even if it was brief, or that her eyes are immediately drawn to his scars and he just tenses up without moving (somehow), just ready for her to say something about them, to make some stupid comment like she always does, and he's almost disappointed when she doesn't.
Because he likes fighting with her, he likes pushing and pushing until she pushes back because she pushes back hard and so few people can actually keep up with him enough to do that.
But anyway, her shirt is still and what the fuck, Becket? Why later? Why not right now?]
What are you waiting for?
Because he likes fighting with her, he likes pushing and pushing until she pushes back because she pushes back hard and so few people can actually keep up with him enough to do that.
But anyway, her shirt is still and what the fuck, Becket? Why later? Why not right now?]
What are you waiting for?
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