[Chuck likes to think that he's got a high tolerance. He doesn't actually but he also finds most people to be total and complete fucking morons and sorry, he doesn't have any patience for stupidity.
But anyway, if you were to ask him, he's been entirely patient with Raleigh for the past two weeks. He's put up with her touristy desires. He agreed to head down under for the Christmas season this year instead of holing up in their apartment, just the two of them. He's here, isn't he and he's said more than ten words to his dad (the official count is sixteen which is not a lot but it's more than ten, you need four hands to actually count that high) and he's mashing the potatoes for her.
And then, she makes a side comment about how he's going to regret not making peace with his dad while he's around and they've got the chance and he just snaps. Enough is enough.]
No, Raleigh if my dad wanted to do me any favors, he would've been more like yours.
[ Raleigh's... never been very good with keeping her emotions to herself, not really, and that's why she's a touch too slow to shut down the hurt on her features when he tells her that; the single sentence that cuts, and cuts painfully.
It's written there, plain as day, and suddenly she almost wants to laugh because why should she still be so surprised at how deeply he can hurt her? It's not like she didn't know what Chuck's like coming into this relationship -- and she doesn't know what's happened between him and his father that Chuck could hate him so much, but she knows that Herc's trying, and is it really worse than having a dad who didn't give enough of a shit to come back?
Something twists in her chest, anger coiling with hurt because that is a low blow and you know it, Chuck Hansen. They were kids when he'd abandoned them, leaving them with the burden of their mom's death, of supporting themselves because they weren't worth his time. She remembers when Yancy asked him to stay, when she'd cried and waited, and waited, and waited. ]
Yeah. [ She says finally, turning away. ] Richard Becket, father of the year. Let's give the man a medal, right?
[To be fair, Chuck said it with the intent of hurting her and thus, making her back off the topic because sometimes, that's the only way to make her drop something and it'd kind of be a lie to say that he doesn't want to do it because he does.
She doesn't get it but that's because he hasn't told her. He doesn't like to talk about how his mum died, or how his dad threw himself into the air force instead of taking care of his son, or how Chuck spent more time staying with the neighbors than he ever did with his dad, or how Herc missed seven of his eight birthdays between his mum's death and when he turned eighteen and got the fuck out of Australia.
And that's not even really the reason that Chuck hates him. He gets being left behind, Raleigh, but at least your father didn't try and make a show of pretending to care. He told it to you straight.]
Well you seem pretty fucking intent on giving my dad one. And last I checked, your dad didn't kill your mum.
[ There are a lot of things Chuck doesn't tell her, and that's fine by her -- she's not the sort to push for full disclosure or shit like that; and Chuck's really not the relationship type. (Then again, neither is she, but they're trying this out and she surprises herself with how she wants this to work, dysfunctional or not).
But then she finds out things like these and for a moment she's distracted from the fact that Chuck had pretty much hit the bullseye when it came to hurting her. (Why she still wants this to work, she has no idea, but that's love for you -- you do lots of stupid, crazy things, right?) For a moment, maybe she understands just why Chuck is the way he is. ]
[No, he's not the relationship type but if you were to ask him, they're working just fine. He's with her, isn't he. He comes home to her every day and he talks to her out of his own free will and he listens to her, even when she's got something stupid to say.
That's love, right? Love is picking a person and saying you're mine and dealing with all their shit.]
The car accident that killed her? He left her in the car. Thought he'd have enough to grab me first and then go back for her and he didn't.
[ When he puts it that way, love's pretty nice. Simple.
...Well, shit. Raleigh takes a few moments to process that, because what the hell? She'd never imagined that he would have a story like this, that his hatred for his old man ran this deep for so long. ]
[Chuck Hansen doesn't do things in small measures. That's for sure.]
Eleven.
[This is him crossing his arms over his chest, like he's going on the defensive and waiting for her to say something else that will give him the chance to bite her head off. It doesn't matter to him that he would've died if his dad had picked his mum instead of him, because an eleven year old kid should never feel guilty for their parent's death or like it should've been him instead.]
[ Yeah, it's... really fucking hard to pick a fight when he tells her something like this, when the truth of the matter is that she can put two and two together, even if she isn't the genius prodigy that Chuck is.
It's in the way he's looking at her, defensive and challenging, closing over the hurt -- and Raleigh almost forgets the turkey she's stuffing because what do you say to that? What do you say to someone who'd gone through something like that? He was only eleven, and Raleigh has an inkling of how things had possibly gone down.
He lost a mother, and a father that day; no wonder he is who he is -- and she damn well isn't going to change him. ]
[That's fucking right. He doesn't want Raleigh's pity, doesn't want her to coddle him because of the bad shit that happened when he was kid, but he's not sorry that she looks pretty speechless there for a moment.]
[ Definitely not pity. Raleigh doesn't pity him -- Chuck's done pretty well for himself, after all, and Raleigh's not in the business of pitying him. ]
About your mom. [ A pause. ] I didn't know.
[ But it didn't mean his father killed him -- the pieces fall neatly into place, what with the things Herc doesn't quite tell her, and the story that comes out from Chuck's point of view. ]
[Pretty well? He's done fucking great for himself. Like to see anyone else be a surgeon at his age.
Rationally, Chuck knows that Herc didn't mean for her to die, didn't intend on grabbing him and never going back for her. But the fact remains that he did pick Chuck and then seemed to regret it for the rest of their lives. And his mum was great, the best mum ever, if anything was fair, she would've lived before either one of them.]
Not much. Threw himself into the air force and left me with the neighbors.
[ ... People can build monuments to your ego, Hansen.
Raleigh is silent for a long moment, because she knows she can't even begin to imagine how that feels. Their circumstances are different, and Raleigh wonders if she'd feel the same way Chuck did if their situations were reversed.
A part of her wants to tell him to suck it up, to move on because his dad tried his best; but she doesn't, because -- because. It feels an awful lot like abandonment, and Raleigh knows the feeling all too well. But: ]
[ Raleigh exhales -- it's a difficult thing, this entire snarl that is Herc and Chuck's relationship with each other. It's impossible for things to be fixed overnight, and she knows this too; Chuck's carried too much pain and too much anger for too long and it's not entirely his fault. ]
You know that's not true. He wanted to see his son. [ pause, then a cocky little smile. ] The pretty girlfriend is just a bonus.
[Chuck grouches at her. Stop defending his dad, don't be on his side even a little bit and even trying to stay on neutral ground is being on his side.]
[ ...And they say that women overreact. Raleigh pauses, raising her eyebrows at him. ]
Keep pounding the potatoes, honey. [ She's on the side of reconciliation, okay? No matter how long it takes -- she hates seeing Chuck so miserable and so angry. ] Besides, he's not my type.
[ She moves past him, giving his butt a nice slap that signals that that particular conversation is over for the time being, while she retrieves more plastic gloves. Shoving filling up a turkey's ass is a lot less fun than is advertised on the packet. ]
While Chuck is taking matters out on the hapless potatoes, Raleigh is getting her gloves on, reaching for a handful of chestnut and mixed filling, and up goes the filling into the equally hapless turkey's backside.
Raleigh considers him, deciding to dot her 'i's and cross her 't's. ]
[Is it better that he takes it out on the potatoes or on his father? She can't have both, so pick one and don't nitpick it when he actually goes along with her decision.]
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fight(?)
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But anyway, if you were to ask him, he's been entirely patient with Raleigh for the past two weeks. He's put up with her touristy desires. He agreed to head down under for the Christmas season this year instead of holing up in their apartment, just the two of them. He's here, isn't he and he's said more than ten words to his dad (the official count is sixteen which is not a lot but it's more than ten, you need four hands to actually count that high) and he's mashing the potatoes for her.
And then, she makes a side comment about how he's going to regret not making peace with his dad while he's around and they've got the chance and he just snaps. Enough is enough.]
No, Raleigh if my dad wanted to do me any favors, he would've been more like yours.
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It's written there, plain as day, and suddenly she almost wants to laugh because why should she still be so surprised at how deeply he can hurt her? It's not like she didn't know what Chuck's like coming into this relationship -- and she doesn't know what's happened between him and his father that Chuck could hate him so much, but she knows that Herc's trying, and is it really worse than having a dad who didn't give enough of a shit to come back?
Something twists in her chest, anger coiling with hurt because that is a low blow and you know it, Chuck Hansen. They were kids when he'd abandoned them, leaving them with the burden of their mom's death, of supporting themselves because they weren't worth his time. She remembers when Yancy asked him to stay, when she'd cried and waited, and waited, and waited. ]
Yeah. [ She says finally, turning away. ] Richard Becket, father of the year. Let's give the man a medal, right?
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She doesn't get it but that's because he hasn't told her. He doesn't like to talk about how his mum died, or how his dad threw himself into the air force instead of taking care of his son, or how Chuck spent more time staying with the neighbors than he ever did with his dad, or how Herc missed seven of his eight birthdays between his mum's death and when he turned eighteen and got the fuck out of Australia.
And that's not even really the reason that Chuck hates him. He gets being left behind, Raleigh, but at least your father didn't try and make a show of pretending to care. He told it to you straight.]
Well you seem pretty fucking intent on giving my dad one. And last I checked, your dad didn't kill your mum.
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[ There are a lot of things Chuck doesn't tell her, and that's fine by her -- she's not the sort to push for full disclosure or shit like that; and Chuck's really not the relationship type. (Then again, neither is she, but they're trying this out and she surprises herself with how she wants this to work, dysfunctional or not).
But then she finds out things like these and for a moment she's distracted from the fact that Chuck had pretty much hit the bullseye when it came to hurting her. (Why she still wants this to work, she has no idea, but that's love for you -- you do lots of stupid, crazy things, right?) For a moment, maybe she understands just why Chuck is the way he is. ]
Your dad killed your mom?
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That's love, right? Love is picking a person and saying you're mine and dealing with all their shit.]
The car accident that killed her? He left her in the car. Thought he'd have enough to grab me first and then go back for her and he didn't.
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...Well, shit. Raleigh takes a few moments to process that, because what the hell? She'd never imagined that he would have a story like this, that his hatred for his old man ran this deep for so long. ]
How old were you?
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Eleven.
[This is him crossing his arms over his chest, like he's going on the defensive and waiting for her to say something else that will give him the chance to bite her head off. It doesn't matter to him that he would've died if his dad had picked his mum instead of him, because an eleven year old kid should never feel guilty for their parent's death or like it should've been him instead.]
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It's in the way he's looking at her, defensive and challenging, closing over the hurt -- and Raleigh almost forgets the turkey she's stuffing because what do you say to that? What do you say to someone who'd gone through something like that? He was only eleven, and Raleigh has an inkling of how things had possibly gone down.
He lost a mother, and a father that day; no wonder he is who he is -- and she damn well isn't going to change him. ]
...I'm sorry.
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What for?
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About your mom. [ A pause. ] I didn't know.
[ But it didn't mean his father killed him -- the pieces fall neatly into place, what with the things Herc doesn't quite tell her, and the story that comes out from Chuck's point of view. ]
What did your dad do after that?
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Rationally, Chuck knows that Herc didn't mean for her to die, didn't intend on grabbing him and never going back for her. But the fact remains that he did pick Chuck and then seemed to regret it for the rest of their lives. And his mum was great, the best mum ever, if anything was fair, she would've lived before either one of them.]
Not much. Threw himself into the air force and left me with the neighbors.
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Raleigh is silent for a long moment, because she knows she can't even begin to imagine how that feels. Their circumstances are different, and Raleigh wonders if she'd feel the same way Chuck did if their situations were reversed.
A part of her wants to tell him to suck it up, to move on because his dad tried his best; but she doesn't, because -- because. It feels an awful lot like abandonment, and Raleigh knows the feeling all too well. But: ]
...Why did he come back?
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He didn't really. Came back when he had leave and when I turned eighteen, I left.
[And it's just been like this ever since. Talking once in a blue moon and this is the first trip he's taken back to Australia in years.]
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But he's trying, isn't he? [ Raleigh says, after a long pause, gesturing around her. ] He invited us back here.
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Probably just wanted to meet you.
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You know that's not true. He wanted to see his son. [ pause, then a cocky little smile. ] The pretty girlfriend is just a bonus.
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[Chuck grouches at her. Stop defending his dad, don't be on his side even a little bit and even trying to stay on neutral ground is being on his side.]
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Keep pounding the potatoes, honey. [ She's on the side of reconciliation, okay? No matter how long it takes -- she hates seeing Chuck so miserable and so angry. ] Besides, he's not my type.
[ She moves past him, giving his butt a nice slap that signals that that particular conversation is over for the time being, while she retrieves more plastic gloves. Shoving filling up a turkey's ass is a lot less fun than is advertised on the packet. ]
Let's just have a civil dinner today, okay?
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Chuck is scowling at the potatoes like they also said that he should reconcile with his father too and he's going to pummel them for the very idea.]
... if he says something I make no promises.
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While Chuck is taking matters out on the hapless potatoes, Raleigh is getting her gloves on, reaching for a handful of chestnut and mixed filling, and up goes the filling into the equally hapless turkey's backside.
Raleigh considers him, deciding to dot her 'i's and cross her 't's. ]
...And if he says something nice?
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So what if he does?